in blue?

you know what? I was happy last week, the whole days lot of socializing, meeting people and spending the night with couple of friends, rarely boring and besides that, I reach somehow the level of clearness in the job’s tasks which means, no more trials and experimental works, when you just have to implement something based on the specification.

I have a new work college since last week, his name is sean, he comes from manchester england, he will take a part of my task during my vacation in september/october. his english is so british but a nice one. next week will be a stress week since a couple of people will come from their vacation. we will work together and I hope that we are so cool by doing our tasks.

however, my sis improved a bit my social life, sometimes I think that her popularity rises above mine but yeah, I’m happy with that, at least she is happy here.

my german best friend michael will come to berlin these friday to join the daniel’s wedding ceremony at saturday, he will be in berlin until sunday and I told him that he could stay with me until sunday. last time I met him was in year 2004 in konstanz. I’m so exciting, there are so many things to talk. I think it’s the right moment to meet him, thanks to God, specially when I feel that probably I could be in blue at the end of week

I wish you a nice dream

actually, the first thing that I do every morning @office…

since last week…. and also after lunch, depends on the meal… 

my will seems broken somehow these week but I’m happy, I don’t know why…. everything randomize, unknown, undefined, just simply come like falling love?

I ask quite often… why and why. as a conclusion: don’t write blog if you can’t keep your eyes open

good night.

busy or lazy day?

I can’t believed that I said that sentence again :O (see my previous blog)

however, the first task of my to dos is done, was a very simple thing to do but with a quite longer waiting time. currently I’m here on my desk, just wondering why I should do…. there are a lot of things to do but I can’t start, somehow I just want to go out, drink a cup of coffee and listen to musics or go out with friends.

there are two small meetings today, our product manager is back from vacation, he just want to sync the status of project that’s why he suggested a meeting today and the other one is a technical meeting about merging code, we do this once a week due to different states of code’s brunches we should often merge all the changes from one brunch to the others.

I’ll go to fitness club tonight with juan, for the first time… let’s see what’s going on later.

a couple of good friends sent mails today about their travel to indonesia according to their marriage plan in september and the invitation. I would be one of the best man, besides the old friend in indonesia, I forgot to ask the lady if she found already a bridesmaid…

still 11:41 am, I’m going to drink a coffee, to push my self up

“you can go shower first…”

is what I normally said every morning when I wake up and see someone, but I hope that sentence will be changed someday, perhaps something nicer like: “good morning” or “let’s do jogging ok?”

go to work, work a lot but unproductive since last week, no big progress, a bit scared according to time line and deadline. I wonder why am I so? I blamed often my self why I quit from killer stick, specially when I need more “kick” against the stress of work. I told Juan that sometime I wish I still smoke that stick, I feel like sometime life is so boring without that stick, no kick at all, no chemical reaction contaminated my blood, brain and nerve which could give me some “relaxed” affect in some situation. if you feel stressed, sad, disappointed or simply feel bad, you will be relaxed a bit.

it’s exact 86 days left since I quit from killer stick. I quit because I believe in something, wow, but yes, there’s always a reason. I can’t guarantee that I will quit forever. somehow if you don’t believe in something anymore definitely, you will take another way, right?

I’m happy and I hope that people around me are happy too.

some to dos:

1. leave the church or religion community (I pay a lot for services that I never get or demand),
2. go to fitness club (I paid for that since last month but I never been there),
3. get to know how to get ticket to semarang for september,
4. work harder, no big progress so far.
5. talk with someone.

that’s all, help me if you can

welcome sis!

my sis is finally here. one of my “year” wish comes true ;P  two are left now ;P

I’m very very busy right now, that’s why I didn’t write on my blog site since a long time ago. however, people who write much blog doesn’t mean that they don’t have job or real life activity but if you are very very busy, you could be different…

so much strees these days, I almost get refused for my vacation request yesterday, but me and my line manager have a deal, instead of 19 work days, it would be only 16 work days, so I have to go to work directly after I land.

thanks to God, my parents, family and friends. I love you all, really ^^

a short break

is needed, I’ll be back again soon. currently, there are so many things to do, I still don’t want to go home earlier since may 12th the day I quit… still waiting for ctop to go to his flat, now is 9 pm, I’m writing here because I’m quite boring alright, just a little update to signalize you that I’m still alive

peace and keep it run!

30th part 2

woke up today in the morning and realized that I’m 30, try to think about something else but couldn’t help me to make it better, so I decided to go out for jogging about 30 minutes. in the middle of the track, I realized again that I’m 30, so I accelerated my speed and tried to think about something else. after a couple of hundred, I stopped and realized that it should be quite cool being a 30, it’s not bad as I think, just getting older but everything should be better.

it has been more than three weeks without killer-sticks, I feel alright now with my body, though not alright with my psychological things. I still remember nice old memories and moments with killer-sticks, I’m keep trying and fighting, this time without any big motivation of motive but simply a small promise to the people who I love plus a small hope

and still walking on the tube…

30th

I’m 30 today, I spent the day’s change moment with sugee and debby, I’m really appreciate that, was very nice from them, eat, drink and talk together until the new day came. I want to thank also to my sis, fina, cindy, enricko+linda, ahun+dennis, bram that sent me a sms or give me a call directly after 12 o’clock.

being 30ers isn’t so horrible, since I think that I come into the new period of life full of adventures, hope and happiness.

17 days left…

since I quit from killerstick…

still hard to avoid the desire to get some killerstick and inhalize it to my lung. biological and psychological withdrawal are killing me, specially at night when I’m alone, I tried to come back home so late as possible and it helps a bit.

I’m keep trying, hopefully I still have the will though it isn’t so strong but there are couple of reason, motivation and promises which keep me running on track.

the tube seems never reach the end, I’m still walking through it and hope, still dark and cold, only the hope warms me, I’m trying to take faith with me and learn to trust it.

have a nice day….

when I have to wait…

for my wish list 2. sometimes things are coming not as expected. well, it’s life. a bit different than programming, except 0 and 1, there’s something that you just have to wait

I’ll fly to london this wednesday, a business trip, pray for me if you read this blog, it would be an important trip for me.

in other side, I’m still walking on the tube